Just plain old burnt out

I’m tired. Really really tired. Have you seen a post from me for a while? No.

I don’t even know where to begin to explain my situation. I just need to vent a little bit.

Over the past few months (since I started seminary at Talbot) it seems as though I have just been spiraling downward.

Being a Youth Pastor at the same time doesn’t help either because even though I am expected to only work 15-20 hours a week, my mind is constantly thinking about the ministry, people are contacting me, I have a big to do list, etc. And I feel bad because I want to give my High Schoolers the best of myself, not a piece. It’s not a clock in clock out type of job for those of you that are in ministry would know. It’s a clock in and stay clocked in even though you are not clocking in or out type of thing. We can’t dichotomize our Christianity and ‘real life’. It’s who we are all the time. I am glad that it is not on me for ministry but God. Though I would like to be the best tool for Him as possible. Not trying to say I am doing this in my own strength. I understand that.

Then comes school. Wow. I am getting rocked so bad. If I could measure it at 8 hours of sleep a night (ideally) I have probably lost about 2-2.5 weeks worth of sleep since September. Pulling all nighters, almost all nighters, waking up realllllly early to start my homework. As my Greek teacher warned me, “You can only dip into that bank for so long until it catches up with you” Well, it has caught up with me for a while and I am really struggling.

I am also forgetting things. Forgetting things to do because I am just running around all the time. I haven’t done things, I have forgotten to call people, etc.

Worst of all, my relationship with God is stagnant. I can’t think. I can’t pray. All that is in my mind is white noise. I am having a lot of trouble concentrating.

Wondering if anyone else is feeling this way and how/if you got out of it? I don’t want to quit my job but it would be nice to run away for like 2 weeks.

Thanks for reading

The Sanctification Gap – Are we saved…and that’s it?

This is something that I have been dealing with in my Spiritual Formation Class lately and is something that has gotten me thinking as well. It is something I have dealt with personally and I have also seen many others deal with it.

Historically, Protestants have been very good on justification. During the time of the Protestant Reformation the talk was very much geared towards justification. That it was by faith alone. I think we might have forgotten that a Christian doesn’t just get saved and then dies but actually keeps living life after that.

And the process we go through by living is what we call sanctification – the process of which we are made “holy”. The Greek verb used is – hagiazo which means to make holy. How God molds us and builds us up into the image of Christ as we keep in step with His Spirit.

The question is how does this work?

He that is greatest among you…

When Jesus said, “He that is greatest among you is the servant of all” he was, in context, breaking up a debate within his disciples that were arguing over who was the greatest in the kingdom. He was appealing to their pride, I believe. Of course everyone wants to be great, so Jesus said, “Oh, so you want to be great huh? Well, in this Kingdom in order to do that you need to lower yourself to the bottom of all and serve all.”

My story to the Idea Camp

I remember being here in Los Angeles and hearing about this thing called the Idea Camp back in January or so. It was supposed to be a free conference about idea making and the sharing of ideas in order to collaborate with people.

We were starting to get involved in the city as a church and as I saw a workshop titled, “How to practically help your community” I got pretty excited. Sadly, I could only attend one of the conference days.

I think Idea Camp as a whole affected our ministry in so many ways. Especially with using technology in order to be more efficient in our ministry. One example is that we started reporting online instead of our staff meeting and that cleared up some room to do other things as staff.

We definitely have learned so much from the Idea Camp. It’s funny because free stuff is usually not quality. Well, if you are debating because the conference is free don’t. There is so much quality and conferences like this usually cost $200+.

The theme of this upcoming one is Justice and Compassion (Washington DC) and I was really excited because as some of you know, I am involved in Pro-life work. I have been given the privilege of facilitating a conversation there about abortion. I will be representing End The Slaughter over there.

I know that I will meet many new people and will meet people I can collaborate with. Not just on the issue of abortion, but many others as well.

Would you like more info? head on over to their website The Idea Camp and also their social network. To sign up for the conference all you need to do is create a free account on the social network and register. More info found on those sites. Hope to see you there!

Dancing is a sin… or is it?

I know, you are probably like, “Ok bro, I think you are taking it a little too far here.” I know, but let me explain what happened and my surprised reaction to it. Let me start by saying that I do not believe that dancing is a sin and really do not understand the mind set behind that belief. The separatist mentality that a lot of Christians have makes it seem like they are afraid of the world. We see verses like “Do not love the world” and then make it seem like the verse is saying, “be afraid of the world because it’s going to come eat you up. Be VERY afraid.”

As my previous post stated, I am not too fond of dancing, but something else happened after that post that was quite funny, surprising, and alarming at the same time.

The dilemma of dancing

Well, where do I begin with this?

I guess exactly what I feel about dancing. I really really don’t like it. There is no enjoyment in it for me. I find as much enjoyment in dancing as an atheist leading a Christian worship service. My culture, though, demands it of me. This issue was never a big deal. I have grown up with this mentality. I can probably count on my hands every time I have danced. Usually at weddings, I just sit around and enjoy the food. Crack jokes and that is my fun. I usually really enjoy myself.

But now there is a problem – I have a girlfriend and hope to get married

learning about God out of love not necessity

This is something that I have been learning for the past 2 months or so. It has been revealed to me slowly. The concept was always in my head but my actions showed otherwise.

When we learn about God, when we grow closer to God, I always have questioned myself why I do such things. I am constantly questioning my motives about why I want to grow closer to Him. Could it be that I want something in return?

This past Sunday I was preaching on 1 John 3:4-24 and there is a verse in there about prayer and receiving whatever we ask for if we follow His commandments. A lot of the times we act like that I think, at least I know that is true in my life at times. Times where I want something to happen or I want some type of reward and so I will act “Christianly” so that God will reward me.

This past year, I have grown tremendously in character and with my relationship with God. Most of it, though, is due to necessity rather than love. I saw a lacking in my life and I knew I didn’t want to be in that position anymore. I prayed, studied, did my duties in order to grow. I grew through those but after I got to a certain point I think that God wanted me to realize that I should grow and want to grow because of my love for Him and not because I see a necessity to.

So I just wanted to encourage you guys to seek Him and grow out of love and not because you see that you need to. There is a place for reflecting and seeing areas where you need to grow but overall the growth process should be in order to get closer to Him not just to become a “better Christian”

Should Christians watch movies like “Hangover”?

On friday night at a graduation party, I put forth the comment, “I don’t think Christians should be watching movies like Hangover, we shouldn’t be entertained at outright sin.” Got quiet pretty quick. The other day as I was thinking about it more, I put up the Twitter, “Do you think it is extreme when I think that Christians who watch movies like “Hangover” and are entertained should check themselves?”

Did get some opposition to it.

Jesus…Leading the way

You know, one common objection I hear to Christianity or “organized religion” is that it is the drug to the masses. You go to church to feel good.

Anyone who is a Christian will tell you that that is a stupid argument. Being a Christian doesn’t always feel good. On the contrary, a lot of times you would rather indulge in sin and give in to your natural self.

Should Tiller’s killer be acquitted of murder?

Before I get yelled at here, please here me out. If you want to know my stance on Tiller’s killing than please go over to our organization and read the article. End The Slaughter.

Over the past few days I have been thinking about this and I wanted to throw it out there to get some dialogue going.

I don’t think that many of you have heard of Soghomon Tehlirian and what he did. I am just going to copy paste here because it is quicker

He assassinated the former Grand Vizier Talat Pasha in the Charlottenburg District of Berlin, Germany in broad daylight and in the presence of many witnesses on March 15, 1921 as an act of vengeance for his role in orchestrating the Armenian Genocide. This assassination was a part of the Dashnak Party’s Operation Nemesis.

Tehlirian was tried for murder, but was eventually acquitted by the German court. The trial of Tehlirian was a rather sensationalized event at the time, with Tehlirian being defended by three defense attorneys, including Dr. Theodor Niemeyer, professor of Law at Kiel University.

The trial examined not only Tehlirian’s actions but also Tehlirian’s conviction that Talat Pasha was the main author of the Armenian Genocide. The defense attorneys made no attempt to deny the fact that Tehlirian had killed a man, and instead focused on the influence of the Armenian Genocide on Tehlirian’s mental state. It took the jury slightly over an hour to render a verdict of “not guilty” on grounds of temporary insanity. The trial influenced Polish lawyer Raphael Lemkin, who later reflected on the trial, “Why is a man punished when he kills another man? Why is the killing of a million a lesser crime than the killing of a single individual?” Lemkin would later coin the term “genocide”.

- taken from wikipedia under Soghomon Tehlirian

I especially like Lemkin’s quote, “Why is the killing of a million a lesser crime than the killing of a single individual?”

Let’s face the facts. 1.3 million babies are murdered through abortion every year. Obviously Tiller did not murder all of those babies but it is safe to say that he murdered tens of thousands in his lifetime as an abortion doctor.

Now if we take Tehlirian’s case as precedent, would there be a defense in Scott Roeder’s case for killing Tiller?

Something to think about. I have done the thinking and broke down some differences in my head but I want to hear your take on it.